June 27, 1998 in
Harlem New York 16 year old Ronny is walking his little brother Jo-Jo home from
school when all of sudden they hear a loud crackling noise that sounded similar
to fireworks “pow pow pow” Ronny looks over and sees a man with a pistol half
way out of the window of a black truck shooting at another man that seems like
he’s about to return fire but before he can he drops and Ronny grabs his little
brother and sprints up the street. High off his own adrenaline Ronny is able to
run through at least 3 streets with his brother over his shoulder before he
gets
tired.
As he puts Jo-Jo
down he says “Ron you know that car drove in the other way
some time ago… you ran for no
reason” Ronny then proceeds to slap Jo-Jo and says “you don’t know what could
happen on these streets because bullets have no name so watch your ass lil
nigga” they then walk home. As they
entered their home they are greeted by their mom who then ask them how their
day was in which Ronny replies “it was good till the end” and walks upstairs to
shower.
Ronny often spent time he should
have been in school trying to find a job he felt he should try to be
independent instead of depending on his mom all the time. Most places Ronny
went he was rejected nobody waned to hire a kid who had very poor grades, poor
choice of vocabulary and last but not least sagging his pants below his butt.
The next day Ronny goes to goes to the pizza
place around the corner but is yet again rejected.
As he walks out there’s a kid
standing there with his hood on someone begins to pass him and he pulls
something out his pocket and they begin a quick exchange by initiating a hand
shake. As quickly as it begins it ends
and the man walks off “Yo you need something what you staring for?” the hooded
boy says to Ronney “nah I’m just a nigga out here looking for a job feel me?”
Rodney says “Oh word?” the hooded kid says as he hands Rodney a small bag of
white stuff that kind of resembled baby powder.
“Give this to a
nigga that live on 701 Scrantom Street he waiting for a delivery” the hooded
kid said Ronny so he went to the address and delivered it and from that day on Ronny
learnt and became a drug dealer. One day Ronny got caught up with the wrong guy
and in the process of dealing him the drugs he was shot and left in a alley all
alone bleeding out. Ronny was at deaths doorstep until someone saw him and
called the ambulance immediately. In the hospital Ronny decided that he wasn’t
going to deal drugs anymore.
I like how this story starts. You paint a great picture of the setting and quickly make Ronny a well-developed character. I'd love to see where the story goes, though I'd advise you to keep a close eye on grammar and punctuation. Little stuff like that really helps a story flow a little better. Keep it up!
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I love how it starts out and the character development. I really want to see where the story goes. Nice work!{Π-Π}
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